The Spectator

Spectator.  According to the wrinkled-up pages of the thesaurus on my shelf, synonyms for this word are “onlooker,” “bystander,” “watcher,” and (the one that makes my stomach tighten) “nonparticipant.” This is what I’ve been in my own life for almost a year now.  A spectator sitting back….looking on as my day-to-day unwraps itself slowly, like a Christmas … More The Spectator

Marking the Moments.

Lately, I’ve been remembering.  Someone close to me is walking a path I’m all too familiar with so I’ve been her “person.”  I’m the one she calls when she’s spiraling.  The one she calls when she’s processing.  The one she calls when she needs safe ears to absorb all the cuss words.  I’ve heard that … More Marking the Moments.

Going Home Empty: What I discovered about living on the day I could have died

When I started writing this post last weekend, it began with these words: “I have a million things to do today, but my heart is pounding and my fingertips will not be stilled.  Thoughts…stuff…has been racing around in my head all morning.” Last Saturday morning, I was getting ready to hit my yoga mat and follow it … More Going Home Empty: What I discovered about living on the day I could have died

Facing Fear

Sometimes it sneaks up behind me; taps me on the shoulder when I least expect it.  Sometimes I go toe-to-toe, stare it down, and double-dog dare it to try to take me down.  Sometimes I wrestle it through the night until dawn….and walk away with a limp like Jacob’s. But all the time I know … More Facing Fear

The Difference Between Quitting and Walking Away

He exhaled loudly and fidgeted in the seat next to me.  Out of the corner of my eye I could tell that he was nervous.  “It’s going to be ok, you know?”  I said softly.  He looked at me and smiled.  “Yeah.  I know,” he agreed. “It’s just….I’ve…..never done anything like this before.  I’ve never … More The Difference Between Quitting and Walking Away