Day 19: Lonely Days

Moving is lonely.  Part of me feels like I could end this post right there and have said all there is to say.  But I would only be telling you a very small part of my story.

The more you do something, the easier it usually becomes.  For example, the more you practice yoga the easier it is to nail the poses. Or the more you stick to a healthy diet the easier it is not to gorge yourself on junk food because it makes you feel sick.  Well, moving isn’t like either of those things…at all.   Because the more you move the harder it gets in one particular area: Friendships.

It’s not like I haven’t made any friends since we moved.  The problem is that finding the time & energy to really invest into deepening those relationships has been nothing short of impossible.  In the beginning there was so much to do.  There were houses to clean, boxes to unpack, and school books to order.  Once we added in the stresses of my husband’s new job, the kids’ activities,  and helping them adjust to all the change I wasn’t left with much time or opportunity to spend just sipping coffee and enjoying “girl talk”.  I have my handful of friends in my “inner circle.”  We text daily and talk weekly (for the most part) and I cherish those friendships more than I could ever say.   But it turns out that without deep, meaningful friendships right in your backyard, life gets lonely really, really quickly.

I’ve been thinking about this for a couple of weeks now and instead of talking to Jesus about it, I decided I rather enjoyed having control of the little pity party that was happening in my brain.  Consequently, I was in no hurry to hand this one over to Him to fix…until this evening.   I was writing something completely unrelated in my gratitude journal when all of a sudden my fingers were writing these words:

“Days when Jesus gets to be my bestie.”

I realized right then that I’ve been so caught up in this crazy, little life that I’m living that I forgot how much He’d like to be my bestie.  I forgot that there is a God who knew me by name as He knit me together in my mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13) over 30 years ago.  I forget that He’s got the hairs on my head numbered (Matthew 10:30) and that He is literally craving my attention and affection.  He would love nothing more than for me to sip on a cup of coffee and speak directly to His heart and listen as He speaks to mine.  He desires this type of relationship with me.  Every.  Single.  Day.

So I spent some time tonight thanking Him profusely for these lonely days.  I committed to finally give Him  opportunity that I’ve been robbing Him of for the last several months: The opportunity for Him prove His presence in my life.  The chance for Him to be my bestie.  While I’m struggling to find time to pour into other relationships, it turns out He doesn’t demand much from me at all.  He’s patiently waiting for me to look His way so I can see my Faithful, True BFF who promises to never leave me, forsake me, or change His address (and all the military spouses said, “Amen!!”).  And when I finally invite Him in, He doesn’t just show up.  He fills the void of loneliness in a way no person ever could.

loneliness

I think He allows seasons of loneliness in our lives to remind us how ever-present He is.  And when we finally look His way, He welcomes us with open arms and eagerly leads us to His table for a coffee date.

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11 thoughts on “Day 19: Lonely Days

  1. Hi, I have also moved to United States from my home country India in the beginning of this Year. I did feel lonely in the initial days but then made by own virtual group and engaged myself in so many activities that I hardly have time to think about anything. I am glad to know how you enjoyed your lonely time. Nice post. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

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    1. I cannot imagine how hard that must have been for you! I was an exchange student twice and that was hard enough but the kind of move you did took a lot of bravery! I hope you’ve found a great group of friends and you’re making a home for yourself here. Thanks for reading & God Bless you!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks Nichole, yes I have made really some good friends out here and enjoying so much in this beautiful country. I think change is very necessary in life. It not only makes us strong from within but also gives us an opportunity to face the world with confidence. 🙂

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