my anchored life:

Oops…I did it again. And again. And again…

I listened.  I heard the whisper, and I stopped to listen.  It was pleasant enough, at first–soothing, sweet…almost seductive.  It affirmed my suspicions.  Told me all the things I already knew.  It made me feel comfortable.

But after weeks listening I began to slowly recognize the voice.  It started sounding suspicious. It upheld my fears, declared my guilt, and ensnared me in my vicious cycle of self-condemnation.  I noticed inconsistencies and a tsunami of feelings overwhelmed me: restlessness, doubt, solitude, worry, and shame…

And then the other day, I was texting with a friend.  And before my brain could process it or my fingers could stop themselves from typing it I labeled the voice.  I gave him a name.

“How is it that I can spend so much time talking to God, and so much time listening to the Enemy?”

A stinging wind of revelation blew into my soul.  It was Him again.  The familiar liar. The faithful deceiver.  The One who comes to change my destiny, steal my victory, and render me ineffective.  He is cunning enough to know the outcome when he comes between the Potter and his Masterpiece: It will shrink.  It will warp.  Every defect will be visible and all the cracks will be exposed for all the world to see.

But this time, I’ve outsmarted him.  I’m not afraid to say it first:  I Am Not Perfect.  I am exactly the kind of untouchable that the Potter can’t wait to get His hands on.  The defects are there, but He covers them with mercy.  The cracks in my faith are exposed, but He fills them in with grace.   I may shrink from time to time.  I may warp a little in the kiln.  But the fire refines me so that the world can see me as I truly am:

Not perfect in myself.  

But a Masterpiece because of Him.  

A new voice whispers words like Redemption. Victory. Freedom. Hope.  Peace.

And I whisper back, “I’m listening.” 

 

 

 

 

**This post is part of an online community. A prompt is given every Friday and we are encouraged to just free-write for 5 minutes and post it to our blogs without over-thinking or editing. If you’d like to participate, you can get more info and link-up on this site. This week’s writing prompt was, “Listen.”