Turmoil Brings Perspective…

Wow!  I rock at this blog thing, don’t I?  I post something once every 3 months or so…yet I have a whole notepad on my phone of ideas for things to post that seem to keep getting pushed aside and left unsaid & undone.  Such is the life of a military wife who homeschools 4 kids, moved to a new house, & got a puppy, right?  

Well, something happened the other day that was almost immediately blog-worthy.  Never mind that it took me nearly 48 hours to write it down.  I said “almost immediately.”  We’ve already established that I suck at this. The morning/early afternoon went to hell.  (Yes, I said hell.  I say “bad words” sometimes.  And I still love Jesus.  Feel free to judge me.  I’ll wait till you get over it…really.) It went to hell in a hand-basket.  It just got ugly.  I had woken up that morning with a plan.  And within 2 hours my plan was unraveling.  The minutes were dragging by…my coffee was ice cold…we got one task accomplished, only to have 10 more that required MY immediate attention.  I was overwhelmed.  Really, I was more than overwhelmed.  I just don’t know what the word is to describe that exactly.  So I’ll buy an adjective–SUPREMELY overwhelmed.  I was overwhelmed by the self-inflicted amount of responsibility I feel every day to take care of James & our home, to educate our children, to entertain & train a puppy, & somehow find time to take care of myself.  On any given day (& most certainly that particular day) I have a sink full of dishes that are screaming my name, dirty counters, dirty toilets, paperwork that needs my attention, emails to check & send, floors to sweep, a puppy to play with, bills to pay, meals to cook, & school work COMING OUT OF MY EARS!!!  Papers to grade, lessons to plan, & help me Jesus, testing is less than 3 WEEKS AWAY!  And did I mention that I’m worried about my husband who is worried about his career now & post-Air Force?  And he probably had a point when he mentioned I should be making calls & looking into Master’s programs so I can be prepared to reenter the work force in a few short years.  (If I knew how to put an emoji after that sentence I would.  The one with the big eyes and the straight mouth.  The one I think would say “Doh!” if it could talk to me. But, alas, I’m “new” at this…considering I only post once every 3 months or so!) Truth be told, in the midst of this personal turmoil all I could think about that sunny school day was “Is there even the slightest chance that I’m gonna make it onto that treadmill sitting in my garage because if I don’t get a run in at some point today I might just crack and end up in the mental hospital and that would positively benefit NO ONE?!” 

But then the most insane thing happened to me.  I went from being overwhelmed to overjoyed. In less than 10 minutes.  And I didn’t even have PMS.  

You see, while Ella & I were working on her reading lesson, Sophie decided to run downstairs to let the puppy out & give him some playtime. Nate, who struggles to focus his brain on ONE task at a time & see it through to completion in any reasonable amount of time, finished his ENTIRE spelling lesson in 10 minutes IN CURSIVE; which he’s only been learning since December! Meanwhile, Jimmy crept into the kitchen on a holy mission to make lunch for all of them. PB & J sandwiches (carefully cut in half for the “littler” ones) with orange slices placed neatly on the edges of the plates, a few pieces of Pirate’s Booty, & water bottles with a splash of lemon. 

…And there I found myself…at the bottom of the stairs…counting my blessings. Suddenly humbled by the work I have to do & realizing what wonderful, important work it truly is to do the things I love for the people I love the most.  I was reminded, in that moment, of how awesome the work I do every day really is. Maybe it never all gets done.  So what?  Really?  The truth is the important stuff gets done every day.  The time I spend listening to my children read, fixing healthy snacks, kissing boo boos, snuggling the puppy, & matching James’ clean socks…Every day I choose to give the people I love a piece of my soul just because I want to.  And because they deserve it.  They are incredible human beings and I would be lost in a world where I had no one that depended on me and needed me as much as they do.  In those 10 minutes, 4 incredible little humans gave me back some of the joy that I’d almost allowed my own selfishness & anxieties to steal.  I forgot to remember how blessed I am to be insanely in love with a man who makes our crazy life possible and what a joy it is to spend every day teaching 4 impressionable hearts to leave their mark on this world by serving others before they serve themselves.  

So instead of counting assignments left unfinished, or bills left unpaid, or toilets left unscrubbed, I’m counting the one, enormous, SUPREME blessing of having people in my life worth working FOR.  And that, my friends, is something worth blogging about.  

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