My purpose (?)

Change is beckoning.  Calling to me from around the corner–blinking like a blue-light special at the Kmart we frequented when I was a child.

As a military wife of almost 17 years my purpose has been easy–be “the constant.” In a life that changes with every TDY, PCS, job title, and promotion I have always been the constant.  The one thing we could always control in a career that offers little control is my being there.  Be there when duty calls him away.  Be there when friends move away.  Be there when the strangers waltz into our home and put in full days of work wrapping up our memories; packing our livelihood and our entire existence into tiny boxes…sealing them with that squeaky brown tape, loading it into crates, and driving off into the sunset.  In our little world of chaos, my job was to be the constant.

So what happens when there is no PCS because you’ve heard the r-word loud and clear?  It’s calling our names….beckoning us to move into the next phase?  What’s my role when we get to write our own orders and he rides off into the sunset of retirement where the insulation of the military bubble won’t be there to keep us relatively safe and cozy anymore?

When the seconds on your husband’s career clock are ticking down and you realize you have to find and define yourself again, how do you even know where to begin looking?  

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It hits me like a ton of bricks–this uncertainty.  Knowing what I’m trained to do.  Knowing what I’ve been doing.  How do I keep being the constant if I’m constantly working for faces other than the five I cherish most?

But then I remember the plan: “For I know the plans I have for you…” **  And the plan sounds an awful lot like a promise.

Perhaps it’s time for something new.

Perhaps it’s time to find my purpose.

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*This post is part of an online community. A prompt is given every Friday and we are encouraged to just free-write for 5 minutes and post it to our blogs without over-thinking or editing. If you’d like to participate, you can get more info and link-up on this site. . This week’s writing prompt was, “Purpose.”

**Jeremiah 29:11, NIV

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11 thoughts on “My purpose (?)

  1. I do not know much about military life, but I think you for your sacrifices. I know with time you will find your purpose. Thanks for sharing with the FMF community, I am your neighbor this week.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. God has a purpose in our lives, even during seasons of change when we can’t see that purpose. I’m so thankful He knows the whole story. Visiting from #12 at the FMF this week.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you for sharing, Nichole! I can imagine that must be a very difficult season, and yet an exciting new chapter as well! May God’s guidance and direction be evident as you navigate this new role!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Love this. I can so relate. When my friends talk to me about trying to decide what is next I sometimes like the fact I have no choice on where we go. There is no decision to make, we just go where they tell us. Good luck on the next phase. So glad you found me on FMFriday!

    Liked by 1 person

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